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Cher frère dr_m367 hot
Crois moi que la traduction que tu as faite est encore meilleure que la version originale. Merci énormément pour ce travail fabuleux, j’en suis très reconnaissant.
J’ai bien pensé que la plupart des forumistes parlent anglais comme deuxième langue, je me trouve dans une situation la ou je n’ai pas accès a un clavier arabe, en plus, crois-moi que je n’ai jamais écrit en arabe sur le micro. Encore une fois, je suis désolé pour mon incapacité.
Si vous croyez que le français est plus proche, ce sera avec un grand plaisir. Si vous croyez que ca va compliquer l’existence de certains, faites moi savoir.
Les liens que tu as partagés sont fort intéressants, je vais prendre le temps pour les examiner et éventuellement, apporter une modeste contribution.
Baraka Allahu Fik ya Akhi,
NGD

The reason why I am writing this is twofold:
Share my experience of struggle against SSA so others in the same situation may benefit from it
Get feedback for self-improvement from the readers who have gained knowledge and experience
There may be some other readers who are just curious. To those people, I would recommend staying away and doing what may benefit them. I am not an actor, nor am doing this for fun, this is a very serious and personal matter that I would not share for any reasons other than the ones shown above.
I have been suffering from homosexuality as far as I could remember. My father died when I was at a very young age, I was assaulted so many times and abused by teenagers of the neighborhood where I lived. I used to repetitive physical abuse from my brother, but I learnt how to keep silent which led to more serious consequences later when I become older.
I was taught by my family to stay away from my uncles as a sign of respect, I was deprived of my male parenthood and uncles. I was very shy when speaking to older male people, but I was fully satisfied with the love of my mother and sisters.
Being satisfied with female natural love but thirsty to male pure love led me to SSA. I knew this fact a long time ago since I felt strange attraction to older male especially those who look like my father. I have never considered this as an innate thing. As I matured and became fully aware of my life, I was determined to combat these feelings as long as they exist.
My reasoning was summarized in the following:
I am Muslim and fully believe that this life will have an end anyways, so why should I follow my temporary pleasures at the expense of the eternal life.
I am 100% sure that I am suffering from an illness which is the result of my early childhood unsatisfied male love. Any illness (or abnormality) , whether physical or psychological, can be treated. Regardless of whether it is easy or hard to be treated, it CAN be treated. So why shouldn’t I consider it as the challenge of my life to overcome, it is Fitna as many people, especially those whom Allah love, get fitna to demonstrate that they truly deserve the eternal paradise. The greater the Fitna is, the bigger the challenge, the greater will be the reward In ShAAllah. This being said, I would either:
Blame my environment who deprived me from natural father's love in my childhood: it is like blaming Allah who decided that such things happen (Astaghfiru Allah). My parents, may Allah give them all the great reward in paradise, did what they could, I love them both and I ask Allah to bless them and shower them in His mercy and compassion. I would obviously not cry on my lost childhood love, that’s pure weakness and senselessness.
Or acquire the necessary knowledge to cure myself and work hard on applying it.
Obviously, I chose the second approach after many ups and downs. I had to acknowledge the faultiness of my attitude as a first step, the more I asked questions on the reasons of my existence and what would be most important to me (religion, life, parents, society..), the further I felt myself away from homosexuality.
NGD